They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
