I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
...so i touched it.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
