you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
