you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
