garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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