bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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