I think i peed on brittanys purse
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
