You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
