cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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