its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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