I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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