We're facebook friends in real life
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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