Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
