Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
