is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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