A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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