I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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