I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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