I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
