that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize