I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
