need another drink. this is the easiest way
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Duck Duck Cougar?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
