No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
