I'm going to jail i love you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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