Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
