Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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