i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
