whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
