You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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