What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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