What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
