You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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