I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
