she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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