We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
