Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need moral support for this bender
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
