How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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