Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
