She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize