I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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