just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
As shirtless as possible
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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