Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
as a side note pls kill me
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