hell yes lets make some ravioli
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize