): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
