I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
