he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
