Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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