don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
