i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
