There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
