She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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