I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
