wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
