Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
