So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
