What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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