bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
