And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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