last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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